"holla!"

1.)a term used to try and talk or try and "hook-up" with a female.
Ex. "Ey mama can i HOLLA atchu fa a minute"

source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/

Dear Male Readers,

Here is a word of advice: do not “holla,” under any circumstances. I don’t care if Kanye, Pharell, the Ying Yang Twins or “25 cent” does it. You’re not in a rap video and neither are the girls you “holla” at. Zero times out of 10 will a lady respond to that (unless of course, you are trying to attract Lo-Lo from the street corner). Time and time again have I seen you out in the city, trying to get the attention of women, shouting, “hey!” HEY is for horses. Seriously. Chances are you’re not going to wrangle a girl in off the streets. If you see a potential out and about, try making eye contact, if she looks at you try smiling. If she sticks around after that then she might think you’re cute. Then, and ONLY then do you approach her. At that point you can say “Hi.” If she smiles, you’re IN. If she looks up and turns away you probably don’t have a chance. Get over it.

Read very carefully. In fact, copy and paste this baby to your desktop: 1) a look can say a thousand words. If you’re out somewhere in the “scene,” you see a cute little thing and you’re unsure of what to say, then don’t say anything at all. And don’t linger around her like some creepy fungus that has nowhere to go. Do your own thing. If she likes you, she’ll remain in your vicinity. More often than not your gut will tell you if a girl is interested. Things like body language, eye contact, inquisitive responses – these are signals that she’s digging you. Remember: A look and a smile. Try it a few times, it builds suspense…and then make your way over. 2) Confidence is everything. Be true to yourself, always. Don’t try and be the suave guy if you’re a goofy guy. And don’t force yourself to be funny if you’re shy and reserved. We all have a thing for the strong-silent type as we do for the class clown. Be confident with who you are because it, and lack of, always exudes. 3) Wit and humor can go a long way. All girls adore a sincere guy who can make her smile. But there’s a fine line between funny and obnoxious. One way to refrain from the latter is not to get wasted. Stay composed and aware of the words that are coming out of your mouth. There’s nothing worse than a sloppy, drunk dude trying to kick game. And don't be too cocky; major turnoff.

Oh and one final, very important note: DON’T EVER touch a girl you don’t know. Please don’t try and grab her arm when she walks by. And don’t sneak up behind her on the dance floor either. A defense mechanism immediately triggers in females, which results in automatic failure on your part.

My experiences being single in New York City thus far have been mixed, but mostly positive. Since I’m not inclined to respond kindly to random guys just about anywhere at this point in my life, I’m always the observer. And what an amusing role it is.

Good luck gentlemen. May the force be with you.

At Home and Alone

No roommates. Just me and Miles jamming on a Thursday night in 5A. A glass of Riesling by my side and some Gouda is perfection. I forgot what it felt like to be home alone all night. A nice excuse to get romantic with myself. Light some candles and sandalwood incense. Sit around in my underwear or plaster my face with a papaya mask. Sing at the top of my lungs to Fiona or lay somberly on the red futon til I fall asleep, book in hand. An overflowing sack of laundry hanging on the back of my bedroom door taunts me. But that’s not very romantic is it?

I love times like this. It gives me space to stretch out, mind and body, in my tiny (tiny) haven in this restless city.

(A thought sent to me today): "Our primary relationship in life is with our selves. No one else goes through every experience in life with us. We are our one permanent companion. We are constantly looking at the world, instead of looking at ourselves, we don't often see what's magnificent about ourselves that others do. When we take the time to experience ourselves the way we would experience someone we love and admire, we become our best companion and supporter on life's journey."

We exchange words and have no idea the weight they carry. People speak without thinking one hundred times a day. Once said, it’s out there, you made the impression, no getting it back. Recently I’ve been expressing my personal thoughts less and less, verbally that is. I’ve been learning that expressing myself aloud benefits no one, especially not me. That’s why I prefer writing. The amount of time it takes for your thoughts to reach your hand, then signal your hand to write, then send it back to your brain as you mentally recite and write simultaneously – that time is more vast. It is stretched. That time allows for reflection, as brief as it might be.

True, there are times when the impulsive way can be valuable and insightful, but how much can that really mean? So many times do we regret the words we blurt out or actions we take driven by pure emotion. Writing gives the ability to make a decision. It helps to translate the thoughts that hurt us, beg us and delight us. They all deserve to have a voice. I just choose to write because I find when I speak, I don’t feel as much movement. I also feel less logical. I can talk and talk for hours (and I have) trying to make a point and never feel fully satisfied with my explanation or claim. But I can write one impeccable and saturated sentence that gives me peace.

It used to be that I could write safely and solely for myself. Uninhibited I was, in my room with my pen and paper. Mounds of journals spanning 15 years, never read by another soul. Now, I am more selective because I know people are reading my thoughts. Somehow I feel I might be cheating readers and myself. I’m sure it would be liberating to just put it all out there. Afterall, what good are thoughts if they have no destination?

Mirror, Mirror

A lounge is a lounge. There is only so much you can say about the latest hot spot before it fades away into the minds of city socialites. We are always looking for the new fad and savvy clubowners are receptive to that.

A long, narrow space, Glass Lounge provides a sleek setting and a small, yet suitable patio in the back. Though barely enough space to dance it is inevitable because the blend of hip-hop and oldschool begs patrons to do so. Drink prices are standard New York and the crowd is classy and can lean more toward the brown side on certain nights.

You must be wondering, "well, what's so different about this place?" Aside from just being a new and different scene, Glass Lounge has an interesting mirror scheme going on. Once you make it to the front of the (often slow moving) line for the unisex bathroom you will notice a long horizontal mirror. As you wash your hands and check yourself out in the mirror you won't see what is on the other side...10th Ave. But those walking along 10th Ave can see what's going on, on your side. That's right. As you innocently adjust your make up or smooth down your hair, "Harry the Bum" is peering in at you. A little creepy? Yea, I think so. Nevertheless, Glass Lounge is...a lounge. They play good music and the crowd is relatively cool. Just don't forget to wash your hands when you leave the bathroom...someone might be watching...

Glass Lounge
287 10th avenue New York, NY 10001
http://www.glassloungenyc.com/

cha·os (ka'os')
n.
1. A condition or place of great disorder or confusion.
2. A disorderly mass; a jumble
3. often Chaos The disordered state of unformed matter and infinite space supposed in some cosmogonic views to have existed before the ordered universe.
4. see also Rakhee's life (at the moment)

Home Hiatus

The past few days have been exciting and emotional. Over the weekend one of my best childhood friends, Nandini, was married to a great guy named Amit. They've been together for eight years and finally tied the knot on April 15, 2006 at Union Station in Washington D.C. (my hometown). If you were anywhere in the vicinity of Union Station I'm sure you heard about it. It was quite the spectacle! I was one of 10 bridesmaids! All of the events leading up to, and including the ceremony and reception, were incredibly fun and festive. By far one of the most unique Hindu weddings I've been to.

When I return to New York I will give a more detailed description of the events, culture and meaning behind the ceremony.

Just wanted readers to know I'll be posting something new shortly. So check back soon!

Isn't it funny that a country which declared itself a place where "all men are created equal" over 200 years ago still battles with Civil Rights today? Even more interesting is the fact that the United States was built off of the blood and sweat of immigrants and still thrives off of the practically free and often inhumane labor of these same freedom seekers.

This past Monday, thousands of immigrants rallied on the mall in Washington DC, along with others in various cities around the country including New York City. The masses fiercely objected the potential law which will essentially reduce and make immigration to the U.S. much more difficult. Some have referred to it as the Hispanic Civil Rights movement. To me it represents the entire population of immigrants: past, present and future. Though I come from a family of non-American-born citizens I have never taken this issue into much consideration. But when I think of my family, along with the hundreds of thousands of others, that came here and paved the way for their children, who are now huge intellectual and powerful resources for this country, I can't quite understand the need for further restriction. It almost feels like biting the hand that feeds you. Afterall, who works our farms, constructs and cleans our buildings, and assmebles all of our frivolous material needs?

Sometimes it still blows my mind that the Civil Rights Bill was passed only 40 years ago. Up until 40 years ago we had segregated schools and a part of our population wasn't even allowed to vote! 'Slowly' seems to be the pace and 'surely' is the hope -- but we indefintely have a long and winding road ahead of us.

Read the whole article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/11/us/11immig.html?ex=1144987200&en=3658f0b9ffb8fc6b&ei=5087%0A

Jesus and Judas

Religion has always intrigued me. I distinctly remember playing in my backyard at the age of 9, with my friend Megen (the daughter of a preacher), "You're going to hell" she said. I asked why and she responded with the words of her Father, "Because you don't believe in Jesus Christ. So when judgment day comes the world is going to blow up and Jesus will take all the Christians to Heaven and the rest will burn in hell." I didn't cry or run to a church in fear for my life. I calmly went to my mother and asked if this was true, "You tell her and her family we don't believe in hell," my Mother explained. It was smooth sailing after that. No hell for me.

I find it fascinating that a great majority of the world live according to scriptures and ancient laws, without question. Religions have been passed down for centuries, through unknown hands, twisted and tainted by institutions and theorists. How could you possibly take it for face value? The fact is, it's all interpretation. I believe that what we follow today is scarcley true to the intententions of the original religious movements. I mean, have you ever heard of the game "telephone"?

A recent discovery was made in Egypt that could potentially turn "fact" into fiction. A scripture was uncovered, about Jesus and Judas, implying that the 'ultimate betrayal' was more of an agreement between the two friends. Yesterday's article in The New York Times said:

The account goes on to relate that Jesus refers to the other disciples, telling Judas "you will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me." By that, scholars familiar with Gnostic thinking said, Jesus meant that by helping him get rid of his physical flesh, Judas will act to liberate the true spiritual self or divine being within Jesus.

Another piece of the puzzle I suppose...but even if Jesus himself came back to earth, and told us the Church was all a sham, who knows if we'd believe him.

Read the whole article, go to http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/06/science/06cnd-judas.html?ex=1144555200&en=d59683ca1c4d906d&ei=5087

The Great Anchor

Family is The Great Anchor, dropped in a place between fortitude and repose. It transcends distance and time, creating an infinite binding. Hate or love, but never indifference. They leave us and cause us heartache or they stay and cause us grief, whichever case applies to you, you know that beyond the lore there lies a certainty and link. It is the one thing we all share; no matter what kind of family you come from you can't escape it, nor can they escape you. I have seen families, perfectly comprised of bright summer vacations and unified meals at the dinner table. I used to be envious. Many times have I tried to direct myself on a different path, leading me away from where I came. I had this idea in my head about what I didn't want to be and I used that as my guide. I would think, 'I'm going to have a bigger, better house. I'm going to have a good marriage and never argue in front of my children.' I was naïve to think parents were anything more than human. They raised me with abounding affection however, disillusioned at an early age, I developed resentment. As I grow older I see the strength in them that I have never seen in any other person. I can never blame them for my occasional bouts of anger and sadness though they are often the cause. I can never blame them because everything they have ever done has contributed to who I am. I cannot doubt the pride they take in me, or the esteem they've taught me to have for myself. This is priceless, and cannot be diminished by any amount of heartache or grief. I believe one of the greatest challenges in life is to wholeheartedly care for others and put them before yourself. I'm still learning and striving for this, but I've been blessed with having received it my entire life. My hope is that one day I can do as good a job raising my own family, as mine did raising me.

Take Me To Paris!

Je veux aller à Paris au printemps! Je veux me réveiller dans un lit se noyant en feuilles blanches et jeter les portes françaises ouvertes qui effectuent à un balcon de fer, garni de l'iris jaune et bleu. Je veux à où une robe de Dior de cru des années 50 et un espresso de boissons dans un café de manière de ruelle. Je veux diner chaque nuit sur le vin parisien et les repas surestimés. Mais non seulement cela, je veux roman à Paris!

Paris in the spring...I've been dreaming about it.

Daughters

Love has come full circle since our Mother’s were born. In India -- and in my family's case, Uganda -- "love" was so simple for a woman to find, because it wasn’t really an option. It was a different kind of love; the kind that develops as a result of preconceived circumstance. It worked backward for us since the beginning: you love the person you marry, not marry the person you love. After migrating to western countries like America and England, second generation daughters have come to realize that you can find a best friend, a partner, and a lover all in one person, and that you don’t have to love anyone you don’t choose to. So, daughters began choosing whomever they wanted, and the prospects widened and varied with time. Now, it wasn’t just a lover, a partner and a friend; he had to be a Hindu or a Christian, vote Democratic, go to the gym 3 days a week, laugh at our jokes, make six figures, share the same tastes in art and music, want to settle in Virginia and agree to weekly dinners with friends. The choices ever-expanded, which in turn made it impossible to find the "perfect" mate. And this is our curse. Us, twenty-to-thirty-something, confused, American born, Indian women. We don’t marry for the same reasons our Mother’s did, we look to wholly satisfy ourselves, and to the point that we remain dissatisfied. Dating brown men, white men, black men…what is most important, religion, family, skin tone, status? Is good sex more desirable than a common culture? Do we win the man over or does the man win us over? It is a constant revolution with our sex, there is always something to prove and we certainly have no problems keeping up. But it seems to come with a sacrifice. As we progress as individuals, we digress as partners. We become less willing to conform to another person and it seems to only get more difficult with age. I’ve been told more and more lately, (to my dismay) that love should no longer be a priority, because “romance fades". I keep hearing that it is more fruitful to find a decent man who shares the same values and cultural beliefs, rather than seeking out someone you're merely attracted to or intrigued by. So, really, are we not running in the same race our Mother’s ran? To first, find a caring partner we can build a sustainable future with and then, if there happens to be true love mixed in, well, that's just peachy.

As second generation, Indian women, we've been given the grand opportunity to advance in the world alongside any man, something our Grandmothers never dreamed possible. At the same time, we are expected to maintain and pass on our heritage. So, as we continue to weigh our plethora of options we must take into consideration the legacy we want to leave behind and the path we tread for those to come. But what most of us want, and rarely announce, is "Everything." That's right men, we want it All, A-L-L. And though we might deserve it, is it what we really need? In the wise words of the emaciated, yet stylish Mick Jagger, "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need."

She Has Arrived

9:08 am, Saturday, April 1
“Good morning,” I wake up to a Chihuahua named Zoe in West New York, NJ after a night of dance practice. I grab a ferry back home to Manhattan. Boyscouts and families race to the top deck to catch the best glimpse of the city skyline. It never gets old. Even after 7 months the sight still causes a stir. I arrive in full force at 38th Street Seaport and grab a cab. The sun reflects off of the buildings, and they shutter up and down like an equalizer on a stereo as we speed uptown.

11:15am
I head to Whistle on the lower east side (273 E. 10th St., 212-447-0631) for a cut and color. Whistle clientele consists of reformed rock stars, hipsters and locals alike. And Heidi is my favorite little blade maestro there (though I must say, Will and Lee are also amazing). Her girl-next-door disposition misconstrues her punk-rocked-tattooed exterior, but most important, she is by far the best stylist to ever lay hands on my head. 2 hours and 50 minutes later I leave with soft caramel tresses though undeniably broke. Perhaps I won’t eat out for the next two weeks. But lack of money cannot overshadow the satisfaction of a successful transition. All it needs now is a suitable outfit. How will I justify this to my bank account? I blame it on the coercive weather.

11:20pm
I trek down to the lower east side once again, with my driver Beygardh, who sings to me in a language I don’t understand. But I receive the serenade as a compliment and thank him as I exit the cab. He smiles and says "have fun pretty Lady!" (it must be the hair ;-) Mannahatta (yes, it's spelled that way http://www.mannahatta.us/) is the spot and inside awaits a table with a familiar face. Mojitos are the choice of poison for the night and if you can handle them a little on the strong side, Mannahatta serves up some excellent ones! Although, I must say, old friends are the best refreshment and buzz of all. We laugh as though we’re 9th grade school girls again fawning over the seniors in the cafeteria, as we giggle at the Adonis by the door. But this isn't high school and the Adonis actually noticed us noticing him and is coming our way! What do we do? “Hi," he says. I fail to look interested. The thought of it was more fun than the real interaction. Back to my mojito and high school relapse. The basement of Mannahatta is an over-crowded excuse for a club with a shotty speaker system that had my ears ringing the entire next day. I suggest staying upstairs where the ambiance is chill and cozy. Otherwise try and get your dancing in early when the crowd is less drunk and sweaty.

12:00pm, Sunday, April 2
Rise and shine. It’s spring forward. I whine internally, I remember we lose a hour but that soon fades when I realize there is a extra hour of sunlight. After returning from brunch (on the LES, AGAIN), my roommate and I turn the phrase ‘'spring cleaning’' into a military command. We gear up with rubber gloves, paper towels, comet, 409, a swiffer and attack. Residue is wiped away. Dust gathering in hidden crevices and under the bed disappear. Unwanted nic-nacs and over-read magazines are thrown out. Fresh and fragrant laundry is folded and put away.

6:30pm
It’s still light outside. I go for another walk around Lincoln Center. The streets are busy as usual and the sidewalks seem to be half the size with seating spilling out from restaurants and cafes, begging you to sit down for a pitcher of Sangria or imported beer. It’s been a long time coming but Spring is finally here! Goodbye Uggz, scarves and down coats! Time for medallion sandals, boy shorts and dresses! She has surely arrived.

Afterthought anyone?
One of my favorite British Romantics, John Keats, often paralleled the changing of seasons to that of man. He defined the extremities as a gage for understanding ourselves. How can we know love without hate? How can we appreciate beauty without the ugly? Constancy is stagnancy. I’m sure it was the bitter cold Winter that has allowed me to truly relish in the joys of Spring. Seasons have always brought me a feeling of newness in many different ways. I hope you delight in the new burst of warmth, and the pleasantries that it brings, as much as I do. Enjoy.

BEST OF: Music For Moods

Best Music To Sulk and/or Over Think To
[Scene: Go into your room, shut the door, light a candle and think about life or feel sorry for yourself (illegal substances or alcohol encouraged, but not required).]

• Radiohead, any album, "Kid A" suggested.
• Coldplay, "Parachutes"
• Sigur Ros, "Ágætis Byrjun"
• Miles Davis, "Kind of Blue"
• Kings of Convenience, "Riot On An Empty Street"

Best Music To Workout and/or Dance To
[Scene: Dress yourself in cool workout gear so you feel like you are the man/woman -- best if listened to on the treadmill at 5.5 mph, preferably on an incline OR dancing around in your underwear, in your apartment where you think nobody is looking.]

• Jamiroquai, any album, "Dynamite" and "Traveling Without Moving" suggested.
• Justin Timberlake, "Justified"
• Madonna, "Confessions On A Dance Floor" and "Immaculate Collection"
• Sean Paul, "The Trinity"
• Michael Jackson "History Past, Present and Future" part 1
• Bunty aur Babli soundtrack

Best Music To Lip-sing To
[Scene: typically can be done in the shower, while driving or in the mirror while getting ready for work.]

• Mariah Carey, ALL albums
• Aretha Franklin, ALL albums
• Frank Sinatra, "The Good Years"
• Jamie Cullum, "Twentysomething"
• George Michael, "Ladies & Gentleman" or Wham

Best Music To Get Romantic To:
[Scene: grab a partner, find that special spot on the couch, dim the lights and cuddle (petting optional).]

• Sade, "Love Deluxe" and "Best of"
• Maxwell, "Urban Hang Suite" and "Now"
• Death Cab For Cutie, "Transatlanticism"
• D'Angelo, "Voodoo"
• Love Jones soundtrack

Best Music To Strut Around New York (or respective) City To
[Scene: Ladies, put on a pair of your sexiest, high-heeled boots; Gentleman, lace-up or velcro your trendiest tennis shoes, grab iPod, slip on shades and proceed with an air of arrogance.)]

• Tribe Called Quest, "Anthology"
• Common, "Be"
• Bloc Party, "Silent Alarm"
• The Rolling Stones, "40 Licks"
• Prince, "The Hits"

*Though the above listed has been formulated in a unisex-ish manner, it is up to the listener's personal prefence to use at his/her own discretion. Other music-appropriate suggestions welcome.

Inspirational Quotes

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination can encompass the whole world."
-Albert Einstein

"Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them."
-John Updike

Fate vs. Destiny

Every once in a while we find ourselves in a state of confusion. We question why we are where we are. Sometimes our careers may be uninspiring or our relationships seem to be failing. Perhaps we feel a lack of ambition or maybe there has been some kind of emotional crisis. At times like these we often lose hope and fear that this phase will not pass. But it always does, doesn't it? One morning you awake and feel rejuvenated, ready to take a step toward the next phase of your life. What is this cycle each of us go through? And why do some of us face the obstacle head on and others choose to move around it and forget?

I grew up in a divided household, with two completely separate schools of thought. My Mother, a devout Hindu, fearfully superstitious, socially naïve, where's her heart on her sleeve, believes that prayer and God determine our fate. My Father, a laborer, charitable, spiritual but not religious, believes hard work and kindness are an adequate equation for living. Generally, society has categorized us one or the other; either you're religious and look to God for your answers or you don't and take matters into your own hands. As it happens I've turned out to be an idealist. Then again, it's not that cut and dry. Many generalize idealists as dreamers or romantics thus writing us off as impractical. I am those things, but there is a duality, which I am slowly learning is the nature of many things in this world. While I am an idealist I do not find myself to be impractical. I admire my Mother's discipline and devotion to an entity higher than herself. I believe this has contributed to the fact that she is one of the most generous and kindest people I've ever known. But her mentality has boggled me for years. I cannot fathom relinquishing the entire course of my fate to any one thing. At the same time I understand that there are things that, no matter how hard I try, are out of my control. So it occurred to me that there must be a balance here, between fate and destiny. There is a distinction between the two...when I am overcome with hopelessness my Mother will be the one to turn to the stars and say, "your life is already written, you can't change what is to come." On the contrary, my Father would explain to me what action I need to take therefore directing me to my next destination, hence Destiny. Wikipedia says, "with destiny the entity is participating in achieving an outcome that is directly related to itself." So where exactly is the balance?

We must take responsibility for the control that we have and learn to flow with the things we cannot control. No matter who you are, regardless of how much power you possess, you cannot have constant navigation of your life -- and at times, this is hard for us to grasp. When a death in the family occurs it is very difficult to "just accept it." But there comes a time when you have no choice but to "just accept it." Being an idealist like myself I at times forget this balance and in turn emotions get the better of me when life doesn't go exactly as I had hoped. This is when questions of what "should" and what "shouldn't" have been conflict in my mind. Is it ever worth questioning? If we accept that there is something higher than us we might be less emotionally attached to people, objects, dreams and other intangibles. This is what Hinduism teaches. But it is not in my make-up to accept a bad situation as is and leave the rest up to God. Once, at a time in my life when I reached complete despair someone dear to me and whom I trusted, told me to "find God." He did not reach his own hand out to me but instead he told me to search for strength in some unknown being. Instantly, I thought "cop out." When all else fails, when we're at our lowest, we turn to God? What about when we are overjoyed? How often do we turn to God then? We tend to use this as a crutch when we're too afraid and weak to support one another. Even I have been guilty of this at one time or another. I have been taught and and hold true that God is in all of us and so as people we need to behave in a Godly manner. Human compassion, service, love -- these are the innate virtues each of us possess. It is how we implement them in our lives, even at the worst of times, that set us apart. I hope I didn't offend anyone's belief system. These are merely my opinions based from my own experiences. I do not think having faith in God is a "cop out," I just feel that we too often excuse our actions in the name of God or some higher power.

Simply put, if you have the ability to take control of a situation and shift it for the better, then do it.

The Hudson Hotel

This hipster-meets-cosmopolitan-joint is my new favorite local spot. I've been frequenting The Hudson on Thursdays and occasionally on the weekends. You wouldn't know it was there unless someone told you (thanks Amar), but once you find it you'll see that it's the gem of Hells Kitchen. The Hudson isn't for everybody, it definitely has a prententious air, especially on the weekends. However, Thursday nights you'll find a token from each social group - you've got the rich Italian-suit-wearin 50-year-old; the chic modelesque yuppie; the Chuck All-Star footed rocker; and of course your typically trendy, resident gothamites. Before you enter The Hudson at the 58th Street entrance you see double-doors illuminated in yellow. Upon entering the hotel, the escalator takes you up to the lobby where once you arrive, you have the choice of going Right: to the swanky Hudson Bar-lounge. Or Left: to the Library, where the theme is Ski Lodge and the only sport being played is pool. You can peruse the thousands of books that line the walls while admiring the cow art (yes, I said cow art and it's very good!). Or you can take a seat in the leather bound couches, converse over a drink and watch a billiards game, all the while listening to the same grooves that play across the way in the lounge. The windows and glass doors lead you to the private garden which I have not yet had the pleasure of retreating to as I've only been in the winter. Once spring finally decides to stay for a while, I'm sure I'll enjoy many warm evenings out there. If you decided to go Right after getting off of the escalator, you will have entered into the lounge. I adore this room. I have no idea what the correct decor terms are for it, but it is ultra-cool. The floor lights up which makes the whole space seem as though it's glowing. The seating, slightly reminiscent of a scene from Alice In Wonderland -- empire chairs make you feel a little more regal than you really are and a seemingly misplaced log near the long bar has been converted into another seat which, after a drink or two, makes you feel like you could be in an enchanted forest. But the thing that truly makes The Hudson my favorite new watering hole is the MUSIC! I could not believe my ears whence I came to this darling place. The kick-ass female DJ who spins on Thursday nights is bloody phenomenal. She'll start you off with some indie tunes, like Block Party or Snow Patrol. And as you're sittin' there, with your friends or a date perhaps, gettin' your buzz on, suddenly she throws some George Michael and Bananarama at you. And then, just when you think you've been thrown a curve ball she starts spinning Mad Lion and Sean Paul. Oh, but the night cannot be over without some oldschool hip-hop and Jackson 5. She is by far, my favorite DJ in NYC so far. If you had the good fortune of being there last Thursday, you would've seen me, the only girl on the dance floor, having the time of my life. The set-up and decor of Hudson is definitely fun and aesthetically pleasing, but they only serve as a bonus. It's the music that sends me home satisfied, still wanting to come back for more.

The downfall to The Hudson is, as I previously mentioned, the pretentiousness along with pricey drinks. I have a low-tolerance for either of those aspects with any venue, but if the right elements are in place I don't mind making the sacrifice. The unusual yet charming atmosphere, influx with the culminating musical montage, topped off with good company and three captain & cokes make The Hudson a sure-fire good time.

HUDSON HOTEL
356 West 58th Street New York, New York 10019
Tel. 212 554 6000 Fax 212 554 6001

ADDICTED.

"Addiction is a compulsion to repeat a behaviour regardless of its consequences," says Wikipedia

There are rituals and then there are addictions. I think the key words here are 'consequence' and 'compulsion' (in no particular order). There are things in this world that, if done in excess, we all know are detrimental to our health: drugs, alcohol, gambling, smoking, food etc. We don't need to read about the most recent FDA study to explain the effects. Your average American is addicted to something. As you read this you might be thinking, "Well, I'M not addicted to anything." Maybe so or maybe you just haven't figured it out yet because it's not typical. There was a time where I really enjoyed smoking and still, on rare occasions, I find satisfaction out of smoking one cigarette -- a similar type of enjoyment I get from drinking a glass of wine. But a few years ago, I had been smoking regularly, buying packs, smoking in my car, taking smoke breaks. One morning, I woke up and felt completely disgusted. Since then it's been once, maybe twice a month, because as hypocritical as it sounds, I do find it to be a disgusting habit. I'd say that was my first run-in with addiction. Then came the second...

I have been known to say that I do not have an addictive personality. In college, many people around me were doing drugs. And not just marijuana, but hardcore drugs. Sure, I was curious and may have even experimented, but I never altered my life because of it. I never missed class because I spent all night tripping. Did I ever miss class because I was hungover? Yes, several times. Does that mean I'm addicted to alcohol? I don't think so. Does addiction mean everyday? Every other day? Every week? Every hour? How can we gage addiction? I think I may have one. Coffee. I have been speculating whether my level of consumption could be considered a legitimate addiction or not.

I've been drinking coffee for about eight years now. I started drinking it in high school because I thought it was cool and it made me feel grown up. Eventually I began to enjoy the taste of it. Once I was in college everyone was drinking it. Staying up late cramming for exams and with the Starbucks boom it was just the thing to do. I started with the gateway coffee, like mochas and cappuccinos. By the time I entered into the working world in Washington D.C. I was officially hooked -- and on Starbucks none the less! (I know, it's horrible. I'm ashamed that I supplemented such corporate scum). I've recently come to terms with my addiction. For the past year or so I have been trying to alternate: one day coffee, the next day green tea. Sometimes I'll go several days without coffee and I'll be fine. Then I start to think, "what's the big deal?"

I recently learned coffee has benefits! (This is what us addicts do. We justify our addictions. 'Oh, crack-cocaine is okay in moderation. At least I still have all my teeth!'). But seriously, there really are some benefits to coffee (http://www.webmd.com/content/article/80/96454.htm). Of course, with the good comes the bad: dehydration, the jitters, and yellow teeth! The thing is I only drink one small cup a day, with lots of cream so I consider myself on the low end of the coffee-addict-spectrum. However, each morning, when I'm on my way to work, before I approach my favorite local coffee shop (Tartare at W. 45th and 9th Ave.), I anticipate that steaming cup of brew between my fingers and the first heavenly sip going down -- for a brief moment I think, '...snap yourself out of it. It's coffee, not a man.' But I've come to realize drinking coffee is not just an addiction, it's a culture. It's a social pit stop; just another setting where people can come together and have a conversation. The truth is coffee is one of my comforts. Along with chocolate, my mom's chai, my dad's chicken curry, cheese-its, steaming hot showers, and about 100 other things. So, I ask myself this: Do the negative effects of coffee outweigh the enjoyment I have drinking it? If I'm not really hurting myself or anyone around me, then why can't I just enjoy my coffee guilt-free?

From the experiences I've had and the observations I've made, addiction qualifies as something which you once enjoyed that has taken over you, your thoughts, your body and you just can't seem to function naturally without it.

What's your addiction?

Just Write

I've only just begun and it's already happening...I'm too busy to keep up with this blog! Between work, dance classes, writing and keeping up with friends, all of my energy and brain space is used up. By the time I get home all I want to do is eat dinner, talk to my roommates, watch reruns of Sex and the City and unwind!

I do love to write, but I've never had a regular audience. So when it comes to blogging, I feel as though I have a certain expectation to fulfill. My fear is that if I write too often I'll go on about my personal experiences rather than stay objective on any giving topic (I guess it's the old 'Quantity vs. Qaulity' theory). Being a woman and coming from a literary background has resulted in a extremely analytical mind. I analyze, analyze, analyze -- whether it be a work of art or my own life (this is my curse). In essence, I don't want to dish out random thoughts. I want what I write to be coherent, intelligible and to a certain extent, inspiring. Maybe I'm just thinking too much (See, I told you I over-analyze).

I've taken many writing classes and the two lessons that have been constant are these:

1. Show, don't tell.
2. Just write.

Like most writers my internal editor always chimes in. But sometimes you can't take yourself too seriously, right? Right. So from here on, while I make an effort to be interesting, I promise to Just Write. I hope readers will let me know when I'm just not delivering the goods (I act like there's more than 5 people reading this)!

In the spirit of Just Writing, here are some fun, yet strange, tidbits from my past few days:
-Last weekend I stayed at a reformed brothel (seriously).
-Last weekend I also went to a local bar called Hudles in Railroad, PA and drank out of a straw shaped like a penis. Afterward, myself and about 7 other drunk girls braved freezing temperatures to enter a luke warm "hot" tub and ate bean dip.
-Tonight, I ate a delicious, home cooked Indian dinner accompanied by a chilled bottle of Riesling w/ my dear friends. Hosted at the apartment of the lovely couple Ami and Amir. We polished off the night with hot brownies ala mode while discussing travels to India and the ever so complex "Beauty and the Geek."
-My friends now address me as Luanne (due to the fact that I have mastered the southern accent).

Can We Change?

When a person has become the thing that they were shaped, developed and molded into for years, can they still alter themselves just because they want to? Characteristics such as temperament, tolerance, values etc. those are inherent aren’t they? Where is there proof that people can change repetitive traits? There have been innumerous instances when our partners cheat and many of us have all gone through the process…the cheater apologizes over and over again, begging forgiveness. Some of us forgive, others do not. Is the phrase ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ valid? If a man or woman cheats on his or her mate is that not a flaw in character, rather than a lapse of judgment as many of us would like to believe? Doesn’t that say something about one's morality?

Let’s take a severe example: I believe it is something like 75% of reformed sex offenders attack again, after they’ve been released back into society, after they’ve gone through countless counseling sessions in institutions that specialize in changing people. At the same time there is that 25% that do not repeat their offenses (either that or it wasn’t taken into account). Let’s just say 25% of them do in fact “change.” They have been reformed into “normal” citizens and can partake in day-to-day activities that all of us “normal” humans partake in. Each day they wake up, get dressed, brush their teeth, and enter the world to do the things we all need to do in order to survive. They work, they get paid, and they come home, most likely to no one because who would ever want to be with a convicted sex offender. Everyday they pass potential victims on the street, in the grocery store, on the bus; vulnerable women or children, waiting to be attacked. It’s tempting, but they conjure up the exercises they were taught in counseling for this very situation. They imagine a happy place or repeat some verse from the Bible or some other crap. This meditation helps to drown out the ceaseless images. The deep, dark, sick desires. It is a compulsion. Each day is a struggle. Each day is a prison cell; a prisoner of one’s own self. I don’t think there would be anything worse. So, again, can people really change? Or are they just drowning out who they inherently are and therefore being miserable anyway? And once someone appears “changed” how can we really be sure?

Watch “The Woodsman,” it is disturbingly beautiful.

Upcoming Shows Worth The Money

Some might think, 'good band = good show.' Wrong. That is not always the case. But I can say from personal experience that the musicians listed below put on an unforgettable performance. Some bands sound great on speakers, and others sound even better live. I personally get a thrill from seeing live performances. It's just an entirely different experience. And I'm not talking about elaborate stage design or state-of-the-art lighting. I'm speaking purely about the sound and vibe from these performers. Go see the shows below if you can. Trust me, it's worth the money. And if anyone knows of any other upcoming shows let me know.

STARS
February 25, 2006 @ Webster Hall, New York City

COLDPLAY w/ FIONA APPLE
March 5, 2006 @ MCI Center, Washington DC
March 26, 2006 @ Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, NY

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE w/ FRANZ FERDINAND
April 11, 2006 @ Constitution Hall, Washington DC
April 13, 2006 @ Hammerstein Ballroom Manhattan Center, New York City

JAIMIE CULLUM
March 25, 2006 @ 930 Club, Washington DC
March 29, 2006 @ Town Hall, New York City