Fate vs. Destiny

Every once in a while we find ourselves in a state of confusion. We question why we are where we are. Sometimes our careers may be uninspiring or our relationships seem to be failing. Perhaps we feel a lack of ambition or maybe there has been some kind of emotional crisis. At times like these we often lose hope and fear that this phase will not pass. But it always does, doesn't it? One morning you awake and feel rejuvenated, ready to take a step toward the next phase of your life. What is this cycle each of us go through? And why do some of us face the obstacle head on and others choose to move around it and forget?

I grew up in a divided household, with two completely separate schools of thought. My Mother, a devout Hindu, fearfully superstitious, socially naïve, where's her heart on her sleeve, believes that prayer and God determine our fate. My Father, a laborer, charitable, spiritual but not religious, believes hard work and kindness are an adequate equation for living. Generally, society has categorized us one or the other; either you're religious and look to God for your answers or you don't and take matters into your own hands. As it happens I've turned out to be an idealist. Then again, it's not that cut and dry. Many generalize idealists as dreamers or romantics thus writing us off as impractical. I am those things, but there is a duality, which I am slowly learning is the nature of many things in this world. While I am an idealist I do not find myself to be impractical. I admire my Mother's discipline and devotion to an entity higher than herself. I believe this has contributed to the fact that she is one of the most generous and kindest people I've ever known. But her mentality has boggled me for years. I cannot fathom relinquishing the entire course of my fate to any one thing. At the same time I understand that there are things that, no matter how hard I try, are out of my control. So it occurred to me that there must be a balance here, between fate and destiny. There is a distinction between the two...when I am overcome with hopelessness my Mother will be the one to turn to the stars and say, "your life is already written, you can't change what is to come." On the contrary, my Father would explain to me what action I need to take therefore directing me to my next destination, hence Destiny. Wikipedia says, "with destiny the entity is participating in achieving an outcome that is directly related to itself." So where exactly is the balance?

We must take responsibility for the control that we have and learn to flow with the things we cannot control. No matter who you are, regardless of how much power you possess, you cannot have constant navigation of your life -- and at times, this is hard for us to grasp. When a death in the family occurs it is very difficult to "just accept it." But there comes a time when you have no choice but to "just accept it." Being an idealist like myself I at times forget this balance and in turn emotions get the better of me when life doesn't go exactly as I had hoped. This is when questions of what "should" and what "shouldn't" have been conflict in my mind. Is it ever worth questioning? If we accept that there is something higher than us we might be less emotionally attached to people, objects, dreams and other intangibles. This is what Hinduism teaches. But it is not in my make-up to accept a bad situation as is and leave the rest up to God. Once, at a time in my life when I reached complete despair someone dear to me and whom I trusted, told me to "find God." He did not reach his own hand out to me but instead he told me to search for strength in some unknown being. Instantly, I thought "cop out." When all else fails, when we're at our lowest, we turn to God? What about when we are overjoyed? How often do we turn to God then? We tend to use this as a crutch when we're too afraid and weak to support one another. Even I have been guilty of this at one time or another. I have been taught and and hold true that God is in all of us and so as people we need to behave in a Godly manner. Human compassion, service, love -- these are the innate virtues each of us possess. It is how we implement them in our lives, even at the worst of times, that set us apart. I hope I didn't offend anyone's belief system. These are merely my opinions based from my own experiences. I do not think having faith in God is a "cop out," I just feel that we too often excuse our actions in the name of God or some higher power.

Simply put, if you have the ability to take control of a situation and shift it for the better, then do it.