Can We Change?

When a person has become the thing that they were shaped, developed and molded into for years, can they still alter themselves just because they want to? Characteristics such as temperament, tolerance, values etc. those are inherent aren’t they? Where is there proof that people can change repetitive traits? There have been innumerous instances when our partners cheat and many of us have all gone through the process…the cheater apologizes over and over again, begging forgiveness. Some of us forgive, others do not. Is the phrase ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ valid? If a man or woman cheats on his or her mate is that not a flaw in character, rather than a lapse of judgment as many of us would like to believe? Doesn’t that say something about one's morality?

Let’s take a severe example: I believe it is something like 75% of reformed sex offenders attack again, after they’ve been released back into society, after they’ve gone through countless counseling sessions in institutions that specialize in changing people. At the same time there is that 25% that do not repeat their offenses (either that or it wasn’t taken into account). Let’s just say 25% of them do in fact “change.” They have been reformed into “normal” citizens and can partake in day-to-day activities that all of us “normal” humans partake in. Each day they wake up, get dressed, brush their teeth, and enter the world to do the things we all need to do in order to survive. They work, they get paid, and they come home, most likely to no one because who would ever want to be with a convicted sex offender. Everyday they pass potential victims on the street, in the grocery store, on the bus; vulnerable women or children, waiting to be attacked. It’s tempting, but they conjure up the exercises they were taught in counseling for this very situation. They imagine a happy place or repeat some verse from the Bible or some other crap. This meditation helps to drown out the ceaseless images. The deep, dark, sick desires. It is a compulsion. Each day is a struggle. Each day is a prison cell; a prisoner of one’s own self. I don’t think there would be anything worse. So, again, can people really change? Or are they just drowning out who they inherently are and therefore being miserable anyway? And once someone appears “changed” how can we really be sure?

Watch “The Woodsman,” it is disturbingly beautiful.