"What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?" Kundera poses this question at the beginning of his novel, The Unbearable Lightness of Being.
I’ve been reading it for months now. Stopping at passages, re-reading, dissecting words, trying to understand the encroached philosophies. It begins with Nietzsche’s concept of Eternal Return. The idea that our lives occur over and over again, no escape. Raised in a Hindu home, I’ve been taught that the universe is a cycle and I believe it to be so. Even within our individual lives how often do we truly learn from our mistakes? Patterns exist for a reason. Nature is probably our greatest example, Birth and Death… it will go on forever. This is what is referred to as weight. Life is full of weight. Yet Kundera challenges this and presents us with lightness vs. weight. "What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?"
I believe one cannot exist without the other, and we each possess either quality. Society would describe men as light. Free of insatiable strain, easily detached. Women will bear weight. Emotionally staunch and overly analytical. However, this is not an absolute paradigm. Kundera’s character Sabina (who I deeply admire and, at my most affected moments, aspire to be) is an extreme example of lightness. She will not be held down by family, love, sex or guilt. I have seen her in certain people in my own life, both women and men. I have also met the character of Tereza in many faces. She is the epitome of weight. Constantly agonizing over her existence. A woman who cannot find her sanity because she struggles with her husbands infidelities (why she didn’t just leave his ass, I have no idea).
For me, this year has been full of release. I was freed of burdens I had no clue were holding me down, until they were gone. A shift took place and I began to embrace lightness. Recently, I allowed myself to connect with someone again. Each day we spoke, we took pleasure in the unknown, and I began to feel lighter. It was swift and potentially volatile. Neither of us held back. And as quickly as it began, it was over. Disheartening? Yes. But from that I realized I am now able to sustain my lightness. I am able to remain relatively unaffected. A year ago I may have tormented myself with the “whys and why nots.” I would be lying if I said I have not asked those questions again – but it is not heavy.
"What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?" It seems to me that it is not much of a choice, but it is in our nature whether we are heavy or light. Though, in recent times I have acquired a lightness, I am not Sabina. I am innately a woman of weight. I will always love too much, seek more than I should and I will never be able to accept the irreverent ways of man. For now I will float and enjoy my light presence, because I know, as nature would have it, I will return from whence I came.
(Sorry if this post was a little heavy. No pun intended ;-)
3 comments:
this post is a great debate when it comes to one's existence. i hit a point in my life when "weight or lightness" came down to one thing, the rest of the world. i couldn't imagine weighing myself down with worries, stress, drama, other people's deep rooted issues (which made them crazy not me), the future, and so on when 90% of the world is worse off than us.
every time i feel weighed down i tell myself there are people dying, starving, lack families, being bombed, living in fear, children suffering, getting abused, etc, what the hell am i complaining about? with that simple mental comparison i'm instantly taken from a state of weight to lightness. i guess i'm living with lightness almost entirely everyday, yes i'm weighed down briefly every now and then but really, what do most of us really have to be weighed down by? i'm not dismissing people's issues but to me so many of the things people complain about are laughable.
i guess people get so caught up in their bubble that their world is all they see when in fact the real world is something they will never see. it’s sad yet it's the reality of how most of this world lives. its not a blind eye but more of self-absorbed issues. but then again who am i to say how others should live their lives..
Funny. I do a similar exercise when I catch myself feeling sorry. Within 5 seconds of watching CNN or reading the NY Times I realize I need to shut my mind up about whatever it is I'm complaining about... and I realize how messed up the rest of the world is and how fortunate I am.
If only the rest of the world thought that way...
i am so happy that you feel and react in a similair manner...we are so fking privileged beyond comprehension that most of us don't even understand. i'm drunk but i'll leave u you with this, to those of you who compain about the trivial matters in your life, STOP. wake up and realize what the pains and struggles our world and our people are going thru on a day to day basis. gnite.
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