The 21st Century Dating Game: My Perspective

**I’m excited about this subject because I have recently started a dialogue with several groups of people living and working in cities, all from different backgrounds. I’ve heard so many interesting opinions that I’d like to start a short series of various sub-topics on the new age of dating. I plan on exploring the condition of Endless Options, fear of rejection, escapism in the city, restraints of career and more taboo subjects that will hopefully cause you to be a bit uncomfortable and strike up discussion. Keep your eyes peeled for some fun posts and please don’t hold back on comments and suggestions ☺**

I had a conversation with a few ladies the other night while we were pre-drinking at a friend’s apartment in Chelsea. Lips glossed, hair straightened, heels strapped and waists belted -we discussed dating and hooking up in the city. “How many guys have you dated here?” asked the curvaceous marketing rep. They were shocked when I revealed a modest number – and even I began to question my deficient dating rate at their reaction. The 29-year-old banker divulged her record and inability to avoid dates, “When I first moved here I went on dates every week! There are just so many men in this city.” The next day I began thinking, ‘why is it so strange that I don’t date regularly?’ And ‘what is the deal with serial daters?’

The sociology of dating in New York City could be analyzed forever. Why so many young professionals remain single in a city full of beautiful, intelligent, successful and talented individuals is perplexing. I’ve dipped my toes in New York’s dating pool but I have yet to earnestly jump in. My reluctance is not due to lack of options. And opportunities have certainly arisen, but having been here a year now I can say I at least learned one thing about myself: I have no interest in dating multiple men. In fact the idea of dating in general is unappealing to me. What happened to friendships blossoming into something special? I know so many guys that don’t want to fall into the “friend zone,” but isn’t that what relationships are based on? And what’s with all the pressure? I've experienced an insurgence of individuals wanting immediate gratification. A man meets a woman (or vice versa) and after two dates it seems he needs to know immediately if she is wholly interested. And instead of taking some time to explore a little he flees. Slow and steady wins the race people, remember? We claim to be laid back and carefree, but really we have more rules than our parents did when searching for a mate.

Most people probably view my stance as shrewd or sullen because I don’t give ‘Mr. Blazer-wearing-bottle-service’ my number, they might even call me a snob. The truth is it has nothing to do with him – I’m just a romantic and so I expect a knock-me-on-my-ass encounter with someone who will make me feel (for lack of a better word) special. And not like the third girl he asked out that week. You might wonder, if I don’t give a guy a chance how will they make me feel special? I don’t have an answer – except for when there’s a will there’s a way. I mean, c’mon, what happened to chivalry, courtship and the things that love songs are made of? Are we to never again see the likes of John Cusack with a boombox over his head blaring "In Your Eyes"? These are relics of a time long gone I’m afraid...

The Good, The Sad and The Solo

“The Good” John Mayer
Acoustic Pop’s all-American golden boy has finally graced us with his junior album, Continuum. Perhaps at the pinnacle of his career, with his mature gaze, grown out shag and bombshell-powerhouse for a girlfriend (Jessica Simpson), Mayer is quite possibly the most commercial Folk-Blues singer in the last decade. If I had never heard Mayer’s perfectly executed all-acoustic “Inside Wants Out” I may never have found the time or respect for his music. His latest single, “Waiting For The World to Change” is not quite the organic sound I grew fond of, but unlike many pop singers, Mayer reassures us of his fundamental talent with a classic blues/R&B breakdown mid-song. As usual his big heart is in the right place, which is what makes Mayer so endearing and appealing:
It's not that we don't care, /We just know that the fight ain't fair/So we keep on waiting/Waiting on the world to change
Besides, with songs like, “I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)” and “I'm Gonna Find Another You” who could ever resist this baby faced-boy and his guitar? B+

“The Sad” Keane
The release of Under The Iron Sea was much anticipated since the hugely unexpected success of 2005’s Hopes and Fears. Though certainly up to par with their first release, with Iron Sea however, I encountered a much darker milieu, hence “The Sad.” Impossibly hopeless with very little room for recovery, Iron Sea feels like you’re appropriately drowning in an ocean of loss and heartache. The opening track, Atlantic, is the prelude to an album that crescendos like a epic novel. Comprised mostly of passionately based piano ballads, lead singer, Tom Chaplin’s voice painfully exudes regret and self-pity:
I wake up, it's a bad dream/No one on my side/I was fighting/But I just feel too tired/To be fighting/Guess I'm not the fighting kind/Wouldn't mind it/If you were by my side/But you're long gone/Yeah you're long gone now
I suppose Mr. Chaplin’s recent tango with drug addiction and rehab could have contributed to this beautifully miserable album. My favorites are, “Nothing In My Way” and “Hamburg Song.” A-


“The Solo” Thom Yorke
The Eraser is the solo debut from self-owned creepster, Radiohead frontman, Thom Yorke. He has successfully replicated the creative disorder of a classic Radiohead album, without being their derivative. You see, Radiohead is like a fine cognac: it gets better with age and it’s an acquired preference, but only by distinguished tongues (yes, this is me being a music snob).

Yorke's creations are the Frankenstein of music if there ever was one. Within this digital masterpiece the only recognizable core instrument might just be the piano (which is most beautifully displayed at the close of the track Cymbal Rush). He uses varied tempos simultaneously, wrecklessly improvises with hums, moans and of course, his signature falsetto. My favorite track is "Black Swan." The opening beats sound much more like the layout for a rap song, weaving synth loops with a classic hip hop beat. I think this could be my new Fall soundtrack; perfect for a gray day. A+
(also watch out for bandmate Jonny Greenwood's Bodysong soundtrack).